Worst Nightmare Come True...

Hola mi Familia!

 

Como estan? So I´m just ready to get to Texas!! I got my travel plans the other day and my worst nightmare has come true..my connecting flight is through Phoenix. So I´ll be "home" for about an hour before my flight to Texas. I can´t believe how fast my MTC experience has gone by. I might even miss it here. But I am SO ready for the life of a REAL missionary! No more of this sitting around day after day...

 

 So in the MTC, during your time here you only have the opportunity to hear an Apostle once...TWICE FOR ME BABY!! Elder Russell M. Nelson came last night for our devotional. Yet again, I felt the undeniable feeling of the Holy Ghost testify to me of the divinity of this Gospel, The Gospel of Jesus Christ. His talk was incrediable. His wife, Wendy Nelson also spoke and their talks were perfectly insinc. Of course, missionary was talked about. But in a way that I have never thought of it. Throughout our lives the veil between the Spirit Worlds and mortal life is so thin. I know I have experienced that a few times, mostly in the temple. As a missionary, I have the opportunity to ASK FOR HELP from those who have past on. I can literally be lead by angels as I search for their posterity. What a blessing! Mom wrote me a quick email from school this morning and I LOVED what she said about how we are never asked or expected to do hard things alone. Missionary work is hard. Learning Spanish is hard. Being away from my family and friends is hard. But I KNOW, by experience, that I am NOT alone. None of us are never alone. For me, I have two constant companions, The Holy Ghost and Hermana Watkins. One of them sleep talks like crazy, the other helps me be patient, can you guess which is which? :) I have so much help in this life, we all do! However, it can be hard to remember how loved we are when facing adversity. I know that from my own experiences too. Sometimes I get scared. This last week was a challenge for me. I have been feeling uncomfortable with the language lately, usually I am optomistic about it, weird right? Me, optomistic about Spanish. :) It came after we learned about Subjunctive...surprise! I had ZERO confindence in myself and started to put up my wall, sorry dad. Yesterday after taking another class period to go over it, I felt a little better. Once we got into our lesson though I just wanted to cry because I wanted so badly to say what I wanted to say, but couldn't say it right because I had to use subjunctive. So while a "member friend" was talking in our lesson I said a quick prayer in my heart so I could get across my feelings simply, Heavenly Father wants her to pray. I got my answer, which was, "Open your dang mouth! You are MY missionary and I WILL take care of you.". So I opened my mouth and I said in perfect grammer what I wanted to say. What did I learn from this? Lots. Confidence is key. If I don't have confidence in myself, that is saying I don't have confidence in my calling which means no confidence in God. I KNOW that he will always help me, especially when I am handling His children and helping them with their needs. As a missionary I am a mouth piece for Heavenly Father and Christ, but if I don't open my mouth, how am I supposed to be effective? I won't be! So, I will never again let my fear of FAILING inhibit me from showing others through my words and actions that they have a loving Heavenly Father and a Savior, Jesus Christ.

 

I was reading in Mosiah 24 last night, and I cried like a baby. In this chapter the people of Alma are persecuted by the people of Amulon. Amulon basically enslaves Alma and his people and makes their lives very difficult. It is how the people of Alma carry their afflictions. They do not complain, they do not murmor against God and the Prophet Alma. Instead, they pray for peace in their hearts, that their burdens will be made light. God hears their prayers, as he hears ours now, and even though he doesn't right away take away their afflictions, he makes them seem light and their hearts become cheerful, even under those rough circumstances. They are eventually dilivered and they PRAISE GOD with GRATEFUL HEARTS!! The Book of Mormon is applicable to our lives, as well as the Bible. The Book of Mormon was specially prepared for OUR lives, in THIS time on the earth. I can draw strength and comfort from this story, even though it's old. Because events like in Mosiah 24 happen to us every day people! It will happen time and time again. It happened for me this week when I was troubled and had burdens on my shoulders. Shamefully, I admitt, that at first instinct, I complain. Spanish is SO hard and subjunctive tense is kind of the worst. BUT. If I keep my head up. If I keep my faith and confidence in God. If I keep a prayer in my heart of thanks. My loads will be made light and I will be able to overcome ANY challenge in my life. I am SO grateful for THAT knowledge. Without it I would have a rough time on my mission. I would have a rough time in life. I have such a strong testimony in The Book of Mormon. People....It's REAL LIFE!!! It is another testimate of Jesus the Christ!! It was made and perserved for US in these latter days. If you do not know, if you have a single doubt, I invite you to read it. REALLY read it. Open your heart and WANT to know of it's truthfullness and glory, and you WILL KNOW.

 

I love you ALL! I am so grateful for a forever family! I am grateful for the special opportunity that I have to be a representative of Jesus Christ! The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints has the FULLNESS of the Gospel of Christ. I know it. And I can never deny what I know. Thank you for all of the love and support you all give me. I know that I recieve much support from home and well as my Heavenly Home. I know that we do not have to FEEL alone in this life, ever! The power of prayer is so real and I am sograteful that I can communicate with my Father in Heaven. Please, Be good, Be safe, and Be missionaries yourselves by LIVING what you KNOW!

 

Siempre Con Amor,

Hermana Florence